Dear Mariah

Whenever I think of Mariah, I still see that little tiny girl, sucking her mama’s finger and screaming her head off.  As she got older, though and found her words, she never stopped talking after that. She loved to play dress up and even had her own beauty shop where she would fix our hair and put on our makeup. Then we would have a tea party with her cousin and her sister.  Everyone got to pick out their own cup and saucer and we would eat cookies and talk and laugh together.  If only life could stand still during those happy times.

Losing her mother at 8 years old was devastating, but she seemed to adjust as time went by.  She loved to read and lost herself in her books.  She was a straight A student, loved to dance and we loved going to her recitals and watching her.  She was a natural, that’s for sure.

When disaster struck her life again and her dad passed away too, it was a turning point in her life.  She had started down the wrong path and somehow got stuck.  Through some bad choices and relationships she just couldn’t seem to overcome it.  But that wasn’t who Mariah was.

She loved her family so much and even got a tattoo that said so.  She had a big heart and was always there for her friends.  We enjoyed so many happy times together and that is what I will remember.  Going to the beach, swimming in our pool, birthday parties, our trip to Disneyland, baking cookies and her helping decorate our Christmas tree.  My most recent memory was a few years ago when she went with Gina’s Team and spoke to over 100 young girls and told her story and the mistakes she had made.  It was not only inspirational, but very powerful and had a big impact on all of them, if only her words could have rang true in her own life.

We prayed for Mariah for so long, and this isn’t how we expected our prayers to be answered.  But, I am grateful to God that Mariah accepted Jesus as her Savior and was baptized this year.  That is what truly matters.  Knowing she is in heaven, reunited with her parents and not hurting any more gives me so much peach and comfort.

I would like to close with this…….”Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same.  But as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.”


So, save me a place Mariah.  I love you always and forever, Grammie






MY ME-A-MIA


Mariah.  A beautiful name for a truly beautiful young lady, but to me she will always be “me-a-Mia” or “my littlest one”.  We had a very special connection, she was my Gina #2, a second chance to see my Gina.  She always treated me special and made me feel special just by how she smiled at me and hugged me whenever we saw each other, just like her mother did.  We didn’t get to see one another as often as I would have liked but when we did she made it worthwhile.  Mia had it all, beauty, brains and like-ability.  She just did not talk about her problems and kept it inside until it overcame her.  I saw her that last day and wished I could have said something that would have changed her mind about going through with this.  

We have to remember that this act is NOT who Mariah is, even though it was planned it was just a split-second decision that acted upon it.  A lot of sadness and darkness entered my life this week, for the second time I have lost a very special part of myself.  When we lost her mother it was like my heart was ripped from my chest and not it has happened again.  I pray that those who hear her story take it to heart and talk to someone when they are hurting and don’t let the troubles of this world overtake them.


Mariah I know you are finally at peace and happily in the arms of your mother now.  I will miss you deeply, I love you my littlest one, Papa.